Two weeks passed since moving and I’ve settled into my new apartment. I’m slowly adjusting to my new neighborhood. The first three days here I cried.
After moving all day in scorching Los Angeles Valley heat while going up and down stairs we were wiped out. My sister, brother-in-law and a friend helped us. Once they left, I felt like all the boxes and things stacked up filling up space were overwhelming and crowding me. I immediately felt panic and regret. I NEEDED all the furniture in its proper place but the boxes and stuff were in my way. I wanted a semblance of normalcy. I started pushing the couches and tables through the sea of cardboard–moving things this way and that way Tetris style until furniture fit where it should. I pushed myself further and carried boxes to their correct areas. Kitchen boxes in the kitchen, bathroom boxes in the bathroom and so on.
After pushing myself all day and night I finally broke down and started sobbing. Like a big cry baby. I don’t want to live here. It’s too small. We have too much stuff. This place is ugly. The valley sucks. This sucks. I hate LA. It’s too hot. I want to go home…I don’t really have a home…wah, wah, wah…
Kyle got me to calm down and I rested. Sure enough, as soon as I woke up the next day I needed to finish what I started. Putting things in place, breaking down boxes and getting rid of junk. Later, I had an issue with finding parking (s0meone was in our assigned parking) and I am terrible at parallel parking so that caused another break down.
On day three we ran into more parking issues after work and I accidentally scraped my car against the side wall of the apartment complex. More crying. More hating the Valley. More regret.
It is going to take some time but I will get used to this new life. I don’t know what is in our future, where our careers will take us or what will happen next. I know this is temporary and we are saving lots of money in rent and gas (especially with gas prices sky rocketing suddenly). The savings will help pay for our wedding and go to our future home. I also know that I have Kyle by my side and we are in this together.