In my marriage, I’m the breadwinner and I don’t mind! I bring in an income and help support my husband. Now, don’t get the wrong idea in your mind about him. He is a United States Air Force veteran (of two foreign wars!!) and is going to college using the GI Bill for Electrical Engineering. So he’s not a bum sitting at home on his PS3 eating chips all day.
The fact that he can go to college full time and focus completely on his studies makes me so happy for him. I did not get that opportunity and I am beyond excited that he is able to take that opportunity. I also understand that he can do this because he sacrificed years of his life serving our country. So, it’s totally cool. The GI Bill covers his tuition, fees, books, and even sends him a monthly stipend for living expenses when school is in session. There was a point where his stipend and my income where the same.
I support my husband willingly because I know he would do the same. In fact, he has done the same–when I quit my comfortable corporate job with full benefits and decent pay to pursue an internship at a toy company doing social media…he was totally behind me all the way. At the time he worked and both our incomes were needed to pay our bills. He was willing to take a chance, my internship paid but with part-time hours. I took as many hours as I could and took as many classes as I could to finish school that spring semester. Luckily, it all worked out, I moved up in that company and I am now at a new company using the experience I gained.
Women are told that they should expect men to be the breadwinner. Men should be employed and pay for dates. They should never need a cent from you. Your husband should take care of you. Welp…that doesn’t always necessarily apply, and really shouldn’t be what women are taught. I don’t need to be “taken care of” because I am more than capable of doing that for myself. When we started dating, if I had the money, I offered to pay for half or cover the whole bill. He did not have a job when we started dating. He was fresh off active duty and started his service with the Air Force Reserves. He was getting ready to enroll in the next available semester at a community college. These things told me he was worthy, he was not a lazy man looking to suck my meager bank account dry. He could fend for himself as I could fend for myself.
I don’t think men should go for a woman that can’t make it on her own. You want someone strong, stable, and capable. Not some delicate flower that needs you to tend to her every need. Of course, I understand some women choose to stay home after having children, and if your family is able to do that, awesome. Most American households need two incomes to function. Marrying someone capable of bringing in a steady income is almost a requirement.
So, I don’t mind being the breadwinner. It doesn’t bother me at all. It doesn’t make my husband feel like less of a man. He’s doing his thing, I’m doing mine. We support each other’s dreams and goals. It helps that he is going into a career field that makes good income, but I also know job security is not a guarantee.